Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA

7 phrases to turn to If you're being too self-critical

These aren’t promoting toxic positivity. We promise.

by Vivian Nunez

We all have days when our inner critic’s volume is extra loud. On those days, it’s easy to believe that our spiraling thoughts (usually our most critical ones) are our truth.

Your initial response might be to offset your inner critic using only positive emotions. But that approach isn’t always accessible - or even effective. Instead, you can try to lower the volume by embracing neutral and grounding affirmations.

We’ve pulled together these 7 phrases to help quiet self-criticism just enough to get you through the day.

“I’m not a bad person just because I think bad things about myself.”

The most important affirmation to hold onto is to remind yourself that you aren’t bad just because your thoughts about yourself are skewing more negatively. We all have hard days, and you are still all the good parts of yourself.

“I am allowed to change my mind.”

While you can’t always decide your first thoughts, you can try to change your mind with new, different thoughts. Before switching things up, remind yourself that you can change your mind any time you want.

For instance, if your first thought is, “I am not good enough to complete this task,” allow your second thought to be, “I can give anything I do my best shot.”

“My worst thoughts about myself are not instant truths.”

A subtle but important reminder — thoughts are thoughts, not final verdicts. So many different factors influence them. For instance, have you ever been hangry, had a nourishing meal, and suddenly you’re a lot less critical of yourself? This may not be the case every time, but it can be helpful to remember that inner criticism can sometimes be attached to external factors.

“I can make mistakes and still be a good person.”

Being human involves a lot of trial and error. If you’re battling self-criticism because you’ve made a mistake, practice self-compassion where possible.

“I don’t have to be perfect. I am allowed to be a work in progress.”

Sometimes, the best antidotes to self-criticism are simple truths. Make a habit of reminding yourself that you don’t have to accept the pressure to be perfect. It can become a grounding practice, even if you don’t believe it initially.

“I am allowed to practice self-compassion in the face of self-criticism.”

Self-compassion is something we all have a right to. You can be nice to yourself even while trying to grow or change. Positive reinforcement can help move the needle in the right direction.

“I can have critical thoughts about myself and choose not to believe them.”

Your inner critic is great at convincing you that their word is the final verdict. Remind yourself that no matter how critical your thoughts are, you have a choice. You can choose not to believe the worst about yourself even if you don’t know what can replace those thoughts yet.

It’s difficult to find peace or neutrality when you’re in the middle of a battle with your inner critic. Keep these phrases at hand to respond to self-criticism in a more effective, compassionate way. If you want to learn more about managing anxious thoughts, listen to our Anxiety Survival Guide clinical program.

Calm Health is not intended to diagnose or treat depression, anxiety, or any other mental or physical health condition. The use of Calm Health is not a substitute for care by a physician or other health care provider. Any questions that you may have regarding the diagnosis, care, or treatment of a health condition should be directed to your physician or health care provider. Calm Health is a mental wellness product.

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