9 ways to ask someone to hang out if you’ve been isolating

Your friends will be happy to hear from you.

by Vivian Nunez

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During different times in your life, you may have all the bandwidth to keep up with your loved ones in ways you thoroughly enjoy, while at other times, that’s less true. Your bandwidth and energy levels may go toward showering, eating, keeping up with your workload, and other more pressing responsibilities instead.

You are trying your best in both seasons; no one will understand this more than those who know and love you.

It can feel complicated, shameful, and even plain scary to text someone to reconnect after days, weeks, or months of silence. But reconnecting with old friends can also be the olive branch your loved one is looking for to step back into your life.

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Here are nine texts you can send to friends or family members you want to reconnect with after a season of isolation.

Copy and paste: Hi! I know I’ve been MIA — I’m not ready to dive into all I’ve been going through, but I would love to spend time with you! Do you have time to try a new class/restaurant/experience together?

Just because you want to reconnect doesn’t mean you must go into detail about what you’ve been living through. It’s okay to be honest, set boundaries, and open up the invitation that feels most doable for you at that given moment.

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Copy and paste: Hi, it’s been so long. I’d love to see you. I’m staying close to home these days but would love to have you over. Would you be up for a visit?

On that note, kick to the curb the belief that hanging out is simply going out to do stuff. You can have an amazing time hanging out with someone in your home or wherever you are most comfortable.

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Copy and paste: Hi, I’ve been having difficulty reaching out, but I would love to hang out if you’re around next weekend.

Keeping a text simple and sweet may help ease any anxiety you have about reconnecting with old friends. This text, in particular, does two things well: It’s honest about why you haven’t reached out prior and about the fact that spending time with your loved one would fill your cup.

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Copy and paste: Hi, I’m finally feeling up for socializing more. I’ve been dreaming about that french toast at our favorite brunch spot. Are you around for brunch next weekend?

Don’t be afraid of setting specific parameters for your hang-out session, especially if meeting up with your loved one makes it feel more doable.

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Copy and paste: Hi, I’ve been isolating because there’s been a lot on my plate. I appreciate your patience while I figure some stuff out. That said, I feel a catchup and fun outing is in order. Do
you have time to hang out next Wednesday?

Sometimes, depending on the friendship or relationship, you can offer context for where you have been and appreciation for who they are. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable if it feels doable for you — there’s no guidebook on how to overcome social isolation, you’re trying your best.

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Copy and paste: Hi, I know I’ve been rather quiet lately. I’d love to tell you more about what’s been happening in my life. Any chance you’re around for coffee next week?

You know your relationships best; if you feel like your friendship or relationship is a safe place to share all you’ve been going through, you can lead with this in the text.

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Copy and paste: Hi, I could use some fun distractions! Are you around next week? Life has been a lot lately, and that’s why I’ve been so quiet, but I always know spending time together fills both of our cups.

Turning to your fun friends for some emotional pick-me-up after a season of isolation may be exactly what you need. You know which friends will be up for a long walk, a pottery class, or a new coffee shop.

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Copy and paste: Hi, I know I’ve been remiss in replying to your texts — it’s felt a little harder than usual to keep all my balls in the air. I’m sorry. I have much more capacity to meet in person to catch up and would love to hear how you’re doing. Any chance you’re up for this?

Ultimately, you want to see your friends because they are there to support you, and you are there to support them. You can be honest about wanting to hear about their life while still deciding how much detail you want to go into about your own.

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Copy and paste: Hi, it’s been so long. I’d love to see you. Do you have time to hang out next Wednesday?

Sometimes simple is best. Trust that you know the best way to pop right back in and that maybe a simple ask is exactly what you both want.

No matter what text you send, just remember that you’re being brave and taking care of yourself by reconnecting with old friends and those you love!

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Calm Health is not intended to diagnose or treat depression, anxiety, or any other mental or physical health condition. The use of Calm Health is not a substitute for care by a physician or other health care provider. Any questions that you may have regarding the diagnosis, care, or treatment of a health condition should be directed to your physician or health care provider. Calm Health is a mental wellness product.