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Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
For starters, you are allowed to have bad days too.
By Vivian Nunez
Good and bad days are a part of the human experience, no matter how old you are. It’s what makes life fun and interesting. Plus, it’s those days that can help provide moments of growth. Nonetheless, it’s understandable that as parents, seeing your little one (no matter their age) work through a problem or a big feeling can bring up big feelings of your own.
While we’re used to adults describing Mondays as hard days or venting about problems with friends or loved ones, kids are only starting to develop the language for communicating their hard days to the adults around them. But the truth is - we all have bad days.
We pulled together some parenting mantras for those harder days to keep in your back pocket. We even broke them down into two groups — one for hard days as a parent and another for when your child has a hard day of their own!
The first thing to remind yourself of on difficult days is that you’re trying your best and parenting is hard. Your best may change daily because of changing circumstances, but the truth remains — you’re giving it all you have.
Hard days can eventually turn into sweeter, lighter days or moments, even if it’s just a few seconds at a time. You can both honor your present moment reality and hope for a better tomorrow at the same time.
The stress and anxiety of a hard day may lead you to believe there’s no time for self-care. But remember, taking a deep breath or two only takes a few seconds, and parenting mantras can go a long way.
It’s essential to remember that hard days are universal and all parents have them. While it can be easy to convince yourself that you are the only parent who struggles in this specific way, asking parent friends about similar moments can be comforting and grounding.
You’re allowed to seek out support from friends, family, your community on the Internet, or strangers at the airport. Don’t be ashamed to turn to whatever you have at your disposal!
Often, you’re encouraged to stay calm in the face of a tantrum or an older child’s hard day. This is sound advice, but it’s important to remember it’s not magical advice. Sometimes, no matter how calm you are, it still won’t change the bad day your child is having. Try not to add more to your shoulders by expecting that it should.
Kids are humans, too. Their hard days may come from nowhere or be tied to something specific. Give them space to be human.
Children, from toddlers to teenagers, are actively learning how to process their feelings. Maybe they just haven’t found a comforting technique to help them on this specific day yet.
Try not to make your kids’ off days a judgment on you as a parent. Not taking it personally will help you better support your child.
Ultimately the most important thing to remember and ensure is that you and your kids are safe. Big feelings are like waves, but you can weather even the strongest waves as long as your boats are safely docked.
Parenting mantras won’t make all the hard days disappear, but they can give you something to hold onto as the day unfolds. Above all else, just remember you’re trying your best and your kids are all the better for it!
Calm Health is not intended to diagnose or treat depression, anxiety, or any other mental or physical health condition. The use of Calm Health is not a substitute for care by a physician or other health care provider. Any questions that you may have regarding the diagnosis, care, or treatment of a health condition should be directed to your physician or health care provider. Calm Health is a mental wellness product.
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