How to manage comments about your weight loss journey

By Vivian Nunez

‍

No matter anyone else’s intentions, you’re allowed to set your own boundaries.

It’s natural to feel stunned when someone broaches a personal topic of conversation as if they are asking for the weather or the time. No matter how close your relationship may be, personal topics like your weight may be something you want to keep private.

It may not feel like it in the moment, but you are allowed to redirect the conversation, acknowledge the awkwardness, and even ask them not to bring it up again. But the question is: How do you change the conversation when someone comments on your weight?

First, take a beat to reassess who you are talking to and the context of their comment. Are they worried, curious, or just gossiping? You can use those context clues to guide what you should say next.

We pulled together some phrases you can copy and paste into a text or put in your back pocket during an in-person conversation so you’re never caught by surprise again.

‍

Copy and paste: “I keep my weight loss journey private for my mental health.”

Sometimes, simple is best. A subtle reminder that you keep your weight private to protect your mental health also helps reinforce your boundaries.

‍

Copy and paste: “I'd rather not talk about my body, but I appreciate you supporting me from the sidelines!”

Often, many people in your life will ask because they may want to celebrate you or encourage you. It’s okay to want their support without going into detail about your progress.

‍

Copy and paste: “Thanks for asking. I’d rather talk about something else instead. Did you see that new popular show?

Trust your gut and your boundaries. If you don’t feel like talking about your health, that’s enough of a reason not to. Don’t be afraid to change the subject.
‍

Copy and paste: “I’m proud of my progress, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Instead of changing the subject to a new TV show, you can redirect your conversation towards what matters the most to you — how proud you are of yourself.
‍

Copy and paste: “I have boundaries around talking about my weight loss journey with others. This helps me stay focused on what’s most important to me.”

At the top of the list of things you can say when someone asks about your weight is to simply state that you have boundaries around that. Depending on who you’re speaking to, you can explain your boundaries or why you have them, or you can simply leave it as “I have boundaries and don’t talk about my health with others.”

‍

Copy and paste: “I have always been beautiful/strong/happy.”

While most friends and family members are well-intentioned when they ask, others may be commenting on aspects of your health journey in ways that are demeaning or plain mean. For instance, if someone says, “You’re more beautiful now than you’ve ever been,” you’re allowed to state that you have always been beautiful (strong, smart, and happy too).

‍

Copy and paste: “I choose not to speak about my body that way. I’d prefer we change the subject.”

Additionally, when someone brings up rude comments about your body, you can underscore that you do not speak about your appearance in that way. You dictate your weight loss journey and how you talk about your weight and body.

No matter what someone says about your body or weight loss journey, remind yourself constantly that the most important conversation you can have on the topic is with yourself. You
are allowed to protect your mental health, especially as you walk through your weight loss journey.

‍

Calm Health is not intended to diagnose or treat depression, anxiety, or any other mental or physical health condition. The use of Calm Health is not a substitute for care by a physician or other health care provider. Any questions that you may have regarding the diagnosis, care, or treatment of a health condition should be directed to your physician or health care provider. Calm Health is a mental wellness product.